For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
