She is in my trunk
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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