brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am spending my child support on dildos
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
