We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
