Pappa wants mamma naked
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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