Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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