the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
