I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
