I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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