Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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