We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
