Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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