..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
