I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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