I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
