I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
