thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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