p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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