sarcasm needs its own font
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
