my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
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He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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