I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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