So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
