i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
