The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there's paper in my vomit.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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