I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
