I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
