Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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