Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
youre lurking in front of me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
