Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
one might say we're banned from that church
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
