they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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