Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
