im drinking this country out of the recession.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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