im gay
i know
yea but for you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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