I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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