I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
