If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
do herpes really smell.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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