I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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