You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
