I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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