a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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