He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
