Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
