Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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