508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
