My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My vagina is officially offended.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
