I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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