I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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