He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
