I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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