Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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