he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
