im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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