Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
