PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
