She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
