Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
