That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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