i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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